I Choose…

We were brought to this earth for a reason. Yes, some of us might have heard what it’s for and some of us have not. We exist because of one reason – to glorify God’s name. Before I lose you for a second, I ask you to hang in there and just listen to what you have to hear for one moment.

A long time ago, God decided that He wanted to create. He then began creating a world with light and darkness, water, air and the sky…the plants and the animals…and much more. All to exist and be living and breathing on this place we call Earth. On the sixth day, which in God’s timing could mean a thousand years for us, he created us – human beings.

26 Then God said, “Let us make man[h] in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

27 So God created man in his own image,
    in the image of God he created him;
    male and female he created them.

– Genesis 1:26-27-

It was by design that he chose to create such creatures like us to be a representation of His image.

Where am I getting at? you ask. Well, here.

I’ve been struggling with this idea of “faith” and what it means to walk by it daily. That’s essentially what this blog is named after all. But to say it and mean it are two different things. Some of you might be familiar to the phrase “see it to believe it”. Essentially, actions speak louder than words, and I’m trying to let my faith speak in my daily walk with Him.

For years I’ve been walking this life of “faith” with the Lord. This year, the Lord has been (like always) stretching my faith and what it means to truly walk with Him daily.

When I mean this I mean in our day-to-day schedule. As a student, this means having faith in even the “smallest” things like say, an assignment.

My struggle began in 2012 when the Lord broke into my life and turned it upside down – in my eyes – but what was actually the right side up. Since young I knew what my plans and future would look like. I had desires and was set in stone to chase after those dreams, no matter what came my way. No doubt I was including God in the picture. I wanted to use my gifts and talents for Him and essentially bring glory to His name and make it known.

But what I didn’t know was that the Lord intended a different journey for me to get there. In 2012 I applied to go to school in the United States, thinking and feeling certain I was going to be accepted to this one school at this particular location. I felt in my heart the certainty of it. But lo and behold, the letter came and confirmed otherwise. I was devastated and confused. I asked the Golden question, “Why, Lord?”

Later on that same year the Lord challenged me. He asked me, are you willing to give up your dreams for me? I was taken aback. What do you mean, Lord? I asked. I’ve given my dreams to you and you are in the picture. Why would you ask me that?

He asked again, Can you?

 

I paused.

 

That’s when I knew my answer was honestly, no. I could not. I could not give back the maker of my dreams what I was given to hold for a keep sake. I felt possessive. I can’t give them up, I thought. Because if I did, that would leave me clueless. I would not know where I was headed anymore. I would not know which direction I was to take because in all honesty, it had become an idol in my life.

It was then I began this journey of wrestling with God (Genesis 32:22-32) and discovery of what it means to give your dreams up to the Maker of them. I walked through this career path, this major I had chosen, wondering and struggling through it. Where is this supposed to lead me? How is this supposed to help my future? Where am I going to end up with this in the future? And most importantly, what’s going to happen to those dreams you gave me, Lord?

There are some questions that I can’t answer right now because I am currently in this process, but I know that the Lord has shown me throughout these past 2 years that this journey in college is more than what I had pictured. I’ve learnt so much more than just graduating and earning a piece of paper we call degree.

But that aside, I’ve been learning what it means to persevere. 

how to train your dragon 2

I watched “How To Train Your Dragon 2” tonight and was…challenged. The Lord uses every situation and person we encounter to speak to us because He wants to speak to us and draw us close to Him. It’s just a matter of whether we allow Him to.

In this movie, the main character, Hiccup, was challenged to become the next chief of his town. In our eyes and in his eyes, he’s just this wandering boy who loves to disappear and do his own thing when and as he pleases. He was struggling to figure out what it means to exist on this earth and yet not disobey his father’s wishes. But then, he decided to take a stand. [Spoiler alert] He decided that even though he seemed not worthy enough or good enough to become like what his father was, he chose to say, “Yes.”

I left the theatre asking God, what are you trying to speak to me? This movie resonated so much in my heart for many reasons. Its good morals, its values it taught but also how much his life resembled mine. But most importantly it reflected a decision that he had to make that would determine how his next step into the future would be.

I pondered with the Lord about it in the car. I looked at my life. In this past week, I had wished again and again how I could quit and pursue what I’ve wanted to pursue all my life. I knew that I was on a brink and the only one holding me back was myself. I told the Lord, I know I’m so close to giving my all to you but I don’t know how long this wrestling will last. Help me.

So in the car on the drive back, that image resurfaced. I then began to see the where the Lord was getting at. Like Hiccup, I’m presented a challenge and a path that I’d never initially planned for to pursue. Like Hiccup, I am given a choice to say “yes” or “no”. Either way, there will be hardships and there will be joys. I knew the right answer was “yes” but I was refusing to submit because:

a. I was scared. I was scared to begin liking and enjoying this new path that the Lord had placed in front of me. I was afraid that it meant saying goodbye forever to my old passions and dreams.

b. I didn’t want to endure. I wanted to switch and not walk through the entire race.

Like an athlete, I had reached the brink of the journey where you can either keep moving and adrenaline will suddenly give you a spurt of energy or you stop and find that you have to keep stopping thereafter. I was wishing to choose the what-seems-like an easier path.

So today, in the car I was given the courage, stirred by the movie to say, “yes” once and for all. I put aside all fears and focused on the One in front of me and said, “Yes, Lord. I will follow you.”

With this “yes” I know that it comes with no easy journey. The difference is that I have chosen to endure fully with my Best Friend, My Protector, My Comforter and most importantly My Father. Lord knows that He has to keep reminding me that He is all of that and much more, and that I need not be afraid.

I was and am being reminded that He’s had this journey planned out from the very beginning. My life, my story, was written perfectly by the hand of God. I was formed and created with a purpose which will eventually fulfill His purpose of glorifying His name. But I am on this journey with a purpose. It is not by random design or because He is punishing me that I have to endure. No. He is taking and leading me through this as another puzzle piece to fit the bigger picture.

So, like Joseph (Genesis 37) in the Bible, I choose to continue to trust the Lord, even when the times are hard. Especially when times are tough. Like Joseph in the Bible, I choose to continue to be a faithful daughter of the Lord and know that His promises for me are true. I choose to say:

√ YES

even when I often want to say “no.”

This is a reminder for me, for when times get low, to remember that I chose to follow Him. What about you? Would you choose to say yes as well to what the Lord has called you for? Pray about it. Seek the Lord and ask Him. Search His heart and let Him search yours. Remember, you are not alone and we are in this journey together. What would you choose?

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil,to give you a future and a hope.

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