Many times over the last few months I’ve wanted to blog but refrained myself from doing so. Much has happened and life has changed ever since my last post. Here’s one of them, and one of the reasons for me not posting before.
Imagine a forest path before you. You’ve been trekking for days now and it’s been prelirious. You’ve faced many obstacles and challenges – from wild beasts to uncomfortable sleeping environments to lack of food/water. Everything you can possible imagine to make you physically and emotionally drained. Suddenly on this path, you’re faced with what seems like the hardest part of the journey. Between you and the the forest path lies a river of mud with which you have to cross in order to get to the other side. You almost feel like it’s a slap in the face. What more do I have to endure, you ask.
That’s how I’ve felt in these past few months.
The 8 weeks have been grueling. Without a doubt I’ve grown stronger just pushing through the “mud”, but I’ve also grown weary.
You see, I often fail to keep my eyes fix on the Father, the one who knows the way. He knows how to keep me steady when I grow tired and feel like giving up. He knows the strategy to trek in the mud or when I should pause to take a breather. But still I choose to push Him away. Let’s face it, we all do that for various reasons. But one of the reasons we choose to believe is that His love is measured by how well you’re doing when in fact, He loves you the same no matter what.
This week I failed at one task and allowed myself to be consumed by it. When I finally got time to talk to The Lord all He said was, “I still love you.” The way He said it was as if he took me by the arm, looked at me in the eye and half question, half reminded me of His love for me. He was asking me why am I reluctant to believe him. I had to pause and couldn’t respond to him.
I’ve been afraid to go to Him. Maybe I’m afraid of what He’ll say but I know He’ll only respond in love. I just refuse to truly turn to him because other things have sought my attention.
Tonight I felt like watching my favorite movie, The Lord of the Rings. I was barely paying attention as I was busy attending to my baking. However I realized how refreshing it was to see that Frodo is a lot like me, like us. Each one of us is sent out with a task to complete. Each task has it’s own prelirious journey and many milestones to endure before reaching the destination. The choices Frodo had to make and the feelings and struggles he had – it’s so much like us.
He had to carry a burden that wasn’t his to begin with, almost like Jesus. He had friends who counseled him and stuck with him the whole way. But ultimately what kept him going was that his eyes were fixed on the long-term and not the pressing current. For us, that Jesus and the eternal life He promises.
Watching the first movie of the trilogy encouraged me. I was encouraged that though the life might be hard, God never leaves nor forsakes us. He sends plenty of help along the way, just as he did with Jesus, Esther, Paul and every person in the bible. When Frodo in The Lord of The Rings was on the brink if giving up, he remembered wisdom imparted to him by Gandalf. That pushed him forward.
God used thus movie to encourage and remind me that “the struggle is not against flesh and blood” it’s against Satan and the lies he puts in our minds. [John 10:10]
So what do we do?
Don’t give up. Endure and keep pressing on. You’re not alone in the mud. Many have crossed and are cheering you on. Many are walking with you and together we are holding hands to walk it through together. But most importantly, we have Jesus holding our hands and never letting go of us.